This Is It

i want to write so much more about this movie, but my blog started going in it's own direction, so i'll save some of my more technical/aesthetic notes for another day. and please understand my motives at the end of this blog. i'm not trying to get everyone on board with "bobby miga" or "uprock"... i'm just excited about the unique, individual ministry that God has given each of you. maybe there is a chance that our ministry paths cross at some point, maybe not.

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it took me a whole week to see this movie. i had to brace myself. i knew that it would change me deeply. at least some part of me. it did.

any of us that are real MJ fans feel like we had... have a connection with him. a connection that no one else understands. a friendship almost. a friendship that surpasses the physical. it had to. i never got the chance to meet him. i had a plan, while he was living in las vegas, to track him down and not act like the raging fan that i was. i knew that we could be best friends. i have a couple friends (who are the other REAL fans that i know) who have similar fantasies that they have played out in their minds for years.

MJ had the entire package. there is no way to limit who he was or what he was capable of. artist. entertainer. performer. visionary. storyteller. there are many artists who will say that they were completely shaped... formed by MJ. some people almost act like they wouldn't be talented, inspired or driven if it weren't for MJ. i won't say that. i was shaped, formed by God the creator and my drive has always been to serve him wholeheartedly and without remuneration. but i can say without a shadow of doubt, that i was discipled by MJ. possibly even without knowing it, every part of my artistic person was influenced by him... from the aesthetic to the more important aspects of integrity, character and humility. so tonight wasn't just a movie that i saw. tonight i had the rare opportunity to watch a master at his craft. i had the chance to see my discipler orchestrate his vision, his purpose, his thesis. every player; musician, dancer, technician... had a note to play. and he made beautiful music with them. tonight was my chance to say goodbye to the person that discipled me. and i left the theatre with the exciting burden of that torch being passed.

i have had a few people call me after seeing "This Is It" and tell me that they saw me in this film. and i wonder "what does that mean?". i don't think anyone, including myself, is being as audacious as to claim that my talent level or fame will ever meet or exceed MJ's; and that's not the point of this blog. if you think it is, you're missing the mark and might as well stop reading now. throughout the film i was taking a personal inventory the entire time and i was saying "God, what does this mean? what exactly are you calling me to?"

i wish that i could have experienced MJ leading worship. i know that statement sounds insane, but i have never seen anyone else understand the importance of a moment... and more importantly the ministry and sensitivity of a moment. i have heard chatter on my friend's status updates about "simmering" and it made me nervous because that is the same term that i use for feeling a moment. experiencing a moment. "let it simmer." talk about a man that understood the power of silence. the power of sound. the power of light. the power of the most subtle movement. i wish that i could have learned from him in person. i wish that i could have felt his energy when he would say "let it roar!". he had a vision that was so clear... that he knew so well... he humbly, yet forcefully, wouldn't accept anything but excellence and we have lost that same standard in the church. it freaked me out when i would watch him never break, yet still direct people on stage with him. and he knew and could do everyone's job better than they could. he knew every light cue. every sound cue. every dance. every bass lick. every beat. every pyro cue. every nuance. every video. it was his show. he demanded excellence and made no apologies for it.

if there is one thing that i learned tonight, it's that i will no longer make apologies for my craft or the standard that i have been called to. if you want to do that, you can go right ahead... but the bar has been raised for us as the church when the world is pulling off... and demanding such quality. i have had a lot of people talking to me lately about how i push my students too hard. "they aren't professionals, bobby". it's interesting that the people who speak to me about this have never seen a production through with me. they don't see the process; and therefore they don't see the result, satisfaction, and worth that people feel when they have been pushed and then accomplish greatness. to me, it feels like people want perfection, yet aren't willing to go through the fire to get there (or at least as close as we can get). it frustrates me that when it comes to the arts, we often want to be lovey-dovey in our approach. i have never seen a quality sports team that has been lead by a lovey-dovey coach. you aren't going to win the superbowl by settling for what you already have or apologizing for pushing someone and it getting too tough. that's when the quality comes out. that's when we become better than ourselves. when we can see what someone else is capable of, even when they can't, and push them there... THAT is when you have done your job as a leader. and i saw that modeled tonight in MJ. his show wasn't perfect. there were plenty of flaws (but as he... and eerily i say, "that's what rehearsal is for") but that didn't stop him from pushing his musicians to something beyond what they thought they were capable of... and then stepping back and letting them shine and have their moment.

i said to ed as we were leaving the theatre, "man, this was MJ for MJ. could you imagine if we did this for God?" what potential. and He has put this ability in us; in this community of artists that i'm engaged in. so what does that mean for us? i'm not exactly sure yet... but i know that it's time to step up. as i was watching, i was annoyed as i pointed to most of the people on that screen and said, "[so and so] is so much better than them." i am surrounded by THE most talented people on the planet and that is not just a figure of speech.

my dream, for a long time, has been to do a big arena show that toured and told the story of Jesus Christ in a relevant, meaningful, excellent way... utilizing the God-given talents of the people God has placed around me. and i'm wondering tonight if that's not so much a dream... but a calling. if you want to get on board, let me know. i don't know what it is yet, what it means yet... but here's hoping to find out.

i'm not suggesting that just by being tagged or mentioned in this blog that you should stop what you're doing and get on board with my vision. but i do want to see a revolution in the arts in the church. and i want to encourage you to pursue your dreams and your talents with more passion... more fire... more urgency. i have friends who should be ministering on an international level. their gift demands that just in it's nature.

i'm not trying to say that we are not ministering or we are not doing our parts... i think we all are. but i was moved tonight by art. and it excites me to think about the unlimited potential that we have in Jesus Christ. this was MJ for MJ. but if we banned together as a community of Christian artists... God in us could move mountains, break down walls, really change things. this is not a wake up call. again, i want to reiterate that i know my friends are serving Jesus Christ. "banning together" doesn't have to mean that we all work together... but it does mean supporting what we have each been individually called to. i just get excited about how God has blessed the people around me and how unlimited the potential is in His giftings.

i wanted to name people in this blog that i believe in... people that i thought about when i saw someone in the movie whose talent seemed mediocre compared to people i know. but i'm just going to tag a bunch of you. maybe this does mean that something big will happen and we all do a show together. maybe it means that you are affirmed in your unique, individual ministry. but now is the time. now is the time to show the world the excellence of/in Jesus Christ. they are waiting. they are willing...

let's pursue excellence. let's not rival or challenge what the world is doing... let's show them the REAL standard.

this is it.